Story by Ken Duke
If you read the first part of this two-part article, you know that some of the lures with terrible reputations aren’t really so bad after all. The Banjo Minnow, Flying Lure and Helicopter Lure catch fish! Maybe they don’t catch as many bass as some other lures, but in the hands of a capable angler they will catch fish.
To be the worst lure of all time, I think a lure should not catch fish … even in the hands of an expert angler, which brings me to my pick for the worst lure bass fishing lure ever. And—for what it’s worth—the selection is not close. The gap between the worst lure of all time and the lures that catch some fish sometimes is a big one, like the gap between North America and Asia or between throwing a bullet and shooting it out of a gun or between conservatives and liberals in 21st century America.
If you have not yet seen my selection for worst lure ever, I will describe it for you here. But where to start? Should I mention that some assembly is required? It comes in eight pieces that you have to snap together like something from IKEA.
Maybe I should start by noting that it doesn’t even emulate a common bass forage item. The “lure” part of this monstrosity is a dragonfly.
And then there’s the fact that it’s basically un-castable. But that’s not the worst part.
The worst part—the part that guarantees the Hover-Lure’s position on top of the trash heap of bass fishing lures—is that the “lure” part is not even in the water! In fact, the product tagline was “Never Fish Underwater Again.”
You know … unless you actually want to catch something.
I think most of us would agree that a basic tenet of good lure design is that the bait has actual contact with the water. Some might even consider that a prerequisite for consistent fishing success … but not the folks who designed Hover-Lure.
The dragonfly on the Hover-Lure is about two inches long. It obscures a little gold hook that would strain to hold a crappie, and—believe it or not—the whole thing “hovered” above a slab of plastic designed to look like a lily pad.
If you bought the deluxe Hover-Lure kit (and why would you want anything less?), you got extra dragonfly wings, bodies, eyes … even a spare lily pad. And you’d need those things because, in the extremely unlikely event that a bass struck your Hover-Lure, it would almost certainly be torn to pieces.
But a strike would be extremely unlikely, and not just because the bait did not represent a significant food source for adult bass. It was essentially impossible to cast. The whole thing is the complete opposite of aerodynamic. It will not fly through the air with the greatest of ease even on the finest casting or spinning gear. If you did try to cast it, the eight components would scatter, and you’d be back to square one.
While the company’s marketing line, “Looks like a dragonfly, works like a charm” was a reach, packaging that referenced it as “The most unique fishing system on the market today” was absolutely accurate.
The Hover-Lure folks even trademarked “King of Bass” and added that to the packaging … in case there was any doubt.
They also spent some money promoting it. There was a website (hoverlure.com — now unsafe to visit) where you could watch a series of commercials with the worst song you’ve ever heard. It’s even worse than “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes … though that’s hard to believe.
Hover-Lure sponsored the FLW Tour. Maybe that’s why they didn’t make it.
The late Homer Circle endorsed the Hover-Lure. Shame on him.
The Hover-Lure is the worst bass lure of all time, and absolutely anyone can see that.
